


Focus

by wolf_mistress17



Category: Supernatural
Genre: 11x21 coda, 11x21 spoilers, Angst, Destiel - Freeform, Episode: s11e21 All In The Family, M/M, Not a happy coda, There is a kiss but it isn't what you think or want
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-18
Updated: 2016-05-18
Packaged: 2018-06-09 07:45:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,247
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6896113
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wolf_mistress17/pseuds/wolf_mistress17
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>All In The Family - 11x21 coda</p><p>Dean hides away in the library of the bunker after Lucifer's arrival. He has Cas on his mind, and Lucifer comes to tell Dean exactly why that is a good thing.</p><p>  <i>"How many times do you think you can shout ‘CAS’ before I take notice? It’s not like I don’t know how Castiel himself feels about you considering this is his vessel. But the real kicker is, how many times did it take for Amara to notice?"</i></p>
            </blockquote>





	Focus

**Author's Note:**

> I present my debut work on AO3! I know Author Note's can be annoying so I just will keep it short by saying that SPN episode 11x21 gripped my muse tight and raised it from perdition because I wrote this in 2 hours afterward.
> 
> This is a coda meant to fit between 11x21 and 11x22 as if Destiel were canon, as we all wish for here. I also tried to post this before 11x22 aired but was only within an hour of being successful, so I may be writing another coda soon lol.
> 
> As the tag says, this is not happy. It is NOT a fix-it. Dean has all the angst right now. I also put in the tags that there is a kiss, so you will probably see it coming, but in this sense... it is technically non-consensual, if that is a thing that will bother people.
> 
> Also: a quick thank you to whitneychriss for the beta, and the rest of my SPN friends for encouraging me with this in the first place!

Dean sits in the library nursing a beer after deciding he needed to be alone to process the day. His laptop sits open on the table, but he has long since abandoned it for his thoughts. So much has happened. They had come face to face with God himself and had to confront him about his own damn sister. Not to mention the mission of getting Lucifer back; it was overwhelming and exhausting. If he were able, he sure as hell would sleep it off for days. But as a Winchester, that just wasn’t going to happen.

He has done plenty of thinking over Chuck’s words. Being told that he, Dean freakin’ Winchester, is the thing that would come between the light and darkness, has caused an Impala sized mess of thoughts in his head. He still isn’t gung-ho on the idea, but like everything else going on right now, there’s nothing he can do about it. He has even taken a moment to be grateful that his distraction to Amara worked long enough for Sam and Metatron to get Lucifer free. Which is where his thoughts now circle. 

He can’t stop thinking about the moment he came back into the bunker. He hadn’t been able to get ahold of Sam to know if the plan had worked, so when he rushed into the bunker expecting the worst, he froze at the sight of a completely pristine looking Cas, well, Lucifer. The last time Dean had seen him, he was a mangled mess, thanks to Amara. And now, thanks to Chuck, he was good as new. Except for one thing.

He was still Lucifer.

After everything he had tried to get Cas back, and even with Chuck— _GOD_ , being in the same room, Cas was still lost to him. It keeps his thoughts circling darker and deeper. And the biggest problem is he can’t confront either of them about it right now. Both Chuck and Lucifer had taken off soon after Dean’s arrival for an angel conference in Heaven. Dean can only hope that whatever they were up to would help them in the long run if Chuck was truly going to help them now. 

So now, Dean is stuck. Stuck wanting to be able to do something, as always, to help put an end to their fight but feeling useless. Stuck wanting to be left out of this latest battle and let someone else take care of it, namely Chuck. Stuck thinking about all the ways he still can’t help Cas. Stuck thinking about Cas. He had only been in the room with Lucifer for a few minutes, but seeing Cas’ body after so long messed with Dean’s head that much more.

It’s eating him alive that there is nothing he can do or say to help Cas. Even after Crowley’s help, he knows getting through to Cas will be harder than it seems. But Dean isn’t one to back down or think there is no way to bring him back. He is far past thinking that he won’t get to talk to Cas ever again. Dean will not give up on Cas, as long as Cas wouldn’t give up on him, if he hadn’t already by giving himself to Lucifer.

Dean took a moment to scoff at himself and took another swig of his beer. Cas hadn’t really ever given up on him. He was stupid to think it. Cas always did things on the faith that he was doing good for all. So, if anything, he had always failed Cas. He let Cas down so many times after he rebelled and fell, and yet, Cas came to answer Dean’s prayers, most of the time. Dean couldn’t stop himself from thinking that if Cas had only known the truth…

But no, Cas wouldn’t know because Dean had never told him--probably would never tell him, at least not in so many words—everything he feels for Cas. To think that maybe if Cas knew what he means to Dean, he wouldn’t have given himself over so easily to Lucifer. But that’s stupid to think, too, because he hadn’t told anyone. He hasn’t even so much as divulged these things to Sam. Not that Sam would even care, but it isn’t like he wants to go around advertising that he lo—

Dean wipes a quick hand over his face in frustration and sets his beer on the table with a clink. He leans his elbows on the table and lets his head fall into both hands. He really needs to get up and distract himself. He can’t do anything about Cas right now, and it is going to drive him even more insane than he already feels to dwell on it. He picks his head up and reaches to close the laptop in front of him when he notices a presence in the doorway.

He startles for just a moment, and his heart gives a useless leap at seeing the familiar tan coat and the face of Cas, of Lucifer in the doorway. All too quickly though, he feels himself shut down in anger, and he glares at Lucifer across the room. Lucifer’s expression is curious, not quite the confused look of his angel, but definitely menacing in its own right. He wears a poker face, which is odd for him actually. He hadn’t been present for Lucifer and God’s reunion so he isn’t sure what went down between them, but he isn’t going to take any chances with the devil now.

“What?” Dean starts in a bitter tone. Whatever Lucifer wants, he needs it to be over with quick.

Lucifer comes slowly into the room, but Dean still notices the cocky attitude behind it. It’s like he wants to appear nonchalant, but Dean can tell he is up to something. “I know what you’re thinking, Dean.”

“How the hell would you know?”

“It’s not like I can’t feel your annoying, residual longing for your dear Castiel. And believe me, the many attempts you made to bring back the guy… those didn’t go unnoticed.” And he finally puts on a small smirk. “And not just by me, either.”

Dean wants to panic, but who is he kidding? If anyone could notice, it would be Lucifer. He also probably seemed desperate while he was searching book after book in the bunker trying each spell that seemed like it could bring Cas back to the forefront. He had lost count of the silent prayers he sent to Castiel just to see if he would cast Lucifer out on his own. Not one to relent though, Dean growls, “what are you talking about?” 

“Get real, Dean. How many times do you think you can shout ‘ **CAS** ’ before I take notice? It’s not like I don’t know how Castiel himself feels about you considering this is his vessel.” At this, Dean actually rises from his seat in anger, Lucifer having traversed his way around the table, closer to Dean. And Lucifer just smirks, knowing he has hit a nerve. “But the real kicker is, how many times did it take for Amara to notice?” 

And honestly, Dean has to pause at this. Amara? How would Amara have noticed anything? Cas hadn’t been around any of the times that Amara was after him. In fact, most of those times he was searching for Cas when he encountered Amara. When he used himself as a distraction, Dean had Cas on his mind, knowing that freeing Lucifer would be one step closer to getting Cas back…

And it clicks in Dean’s head. Amara would certainly notice her connection with Dean weakened if he was thinking clearly about saving Cas. It must be why she sent him a vision of Lucifer beaten and battered, hoping to gain his favor. She had certainly noticed something was different about him. It must have been what tipped her off that he was just a diversion.

“Ah, now you’ve got it.”

Dean realizes his face must give him away and resets his expression from shock to anger. He darts his gaze back up to Lucifer to see that the all too familiar smirk has grown on his face. He is definitely up to something. Dean brings himself up to his full height and braces himself. “So what exactly are you getting at here, Lucifer?”

Lucifer gives a laugh and slinks his way in front of Dean. It’s all Dean can do to stand his ground and not react. So many times before, he had told Cas off for being in his personal space. Now, when he couldn’t care less, everything was wrong.

“Well, Dean, it came to my attention that Amara thinks she and you hold a ‘special bond.’ She wants you to be a part of her. And she has almost convinced you in the past, am I right?” Dean makes no sound, but the twitch in his jaw is answer enough.

“And the most interesting thing is that you and Castiel also have a ‘special bond.’ Assuming you have come to the same conclusion as me, the bond with him trumps the bond with her. It’s how you were able to successfully bait her before.”

Dean glares harder than he thinks he ever has but remains in place.

“I can feel your hatred, Dean. I know you would search high and low for a way to get me out of this vessel.” Lucifer’s voice turns dark, “but what you need to understand right now is I am not going anywhere. You can’t make me, or Chuck, vacate this body. We are all going to have to work together to put that bitch back where she belongs. Even Castiel knew you all would need me for this.”

“And why the hell would I work with you?” Dean growls.

“Because we have the same goals here for once, you moron. If you get distracted, Amara will take you and this will all be over. You have to focus and use your anger toward a different goal. Castiel is what will get you through this so that you can help us.”

Lucifer reaches a hand to Dean’s right arm. It’s a surprisingly light touch for the tension in the room between them. Any other time, he would feel elated about the touch, but right now, it turns his stomach. “We need my power for this. But you have to focus on Castiel so Amara can’t distract you. So… I thought I would bring you a reminder.” 

Lucifer is in Dean’s face so fast he doesn’t even have time to process the warm but dry lips that touch his own. Dean almost even responds for a moment because this is **CAS** , and yet…

Dean shoves against Lucifer’s chest with all his strength and surprisingly dislodges him across the space. Lucifer has a small but knowing grin on his face as he gets his feet under him. Dean breathes heavily, in shock, his body racing with adrenaline, but the anger comes back tenfold.

“Fuck you, Lucifer!” Dean isn’t even able to look at him anymore, so he leans his hands back on the table beside him. “Cas is all I can think about, don’t you fucking doubt it. I don’t need your reminders or your help for that, you son of a bitch. Just know I will get him back after all of this is done. I swear it!” 

“Hmm. We’ll see.” It is all Lucifer says in reply as he sidles out of the room, his mission accomplished. 

Dean paces beside the table for awhile after he’s gone. He feels like his anger has become a tangible thing, if only he could use it. He grabs the closest thing he can reach, his abandoned beer bottle, and throttles it at the wall across the room. The bottle shatters and the noise grounds him long enough to see what exactly Lucifer had meant to accomplish with his exploits.

There is no way he can let Amara get into his head. Sure, God is on their side now, but if Chuck is telling the truth and he is the buffer for light and darkness, he needs to be focused. He would rather die trying than to let Amara consume him, or whatever the hell she is planning. He would rather die than to see them lose and miss his chance to save Cas. Lucifer is somehow keeping him on their side so he doesn’t lose it all to her. He just hates how right Lucifer is. 

“Cas.”

Dean starts, but has to swallow around the dryness of his throat. He needs to say something out loud, whether Cas will hear him or not. More than ever, he wants Cas to hear him out.

“We will win this fight, and then I will get you back, Cas. I’m not giving up on you, so you sure as hell can’t give up on me. I’m going to get you back, dammit, but we have to end this first. I can’t do it without you, though. I need you.” Dean sighs.

“I will _always_ need you, Cas.”

Dean stands solitary and still in the room, hoping to let the auditory prayer sink in, if it can. He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath before making his way to the door. If he is going to do this, he needs to get in on the action. He is ready to get this over with.

**Author's Note:**

> Any and all constructive criticism is welcome. You can literally point out any little mistake I made in writing or wording or something just didn't come across correctly. Thank you for reading, lovelies!


End file.
